The Progressive Girl

I choose to believe that Stephanie Courtney, the star of those Progressive Insurance commercials, tried really hard not to sell out to corporate America. But in the end, the comedy career just wasn't going anywhere.

Ellen Page

....for Cisco

By now you've surely seen Ellen Page shilling for Cisco in a series of television commercials. It begs the simple question, why?

I've got nothing against Cisco, and I've certainly got nothing against Juno, but its not often celebrities whose careers are aimed in the positive trajectory who are the ones selling out, right? Especially not for products which have little or nothing to do with the celebrity's established on-screen personae.

Aziz Ansari

Parks and Recreation superstar Aziz Ansari has been funny for a long time, but is just now starting to get the attention he deserves.

Over the weekend, Aziz moved into a top 5 spot on my favorite comedian list with his Comedy Central Special Intimate Moments for a Sensual Evening, which will air again uncut tonight at 1am or censored this Friday at 8pm. It's definitely worth watching or at least recording. It is 2010, people just record stuff now, right? Anyway, if you're wondering what to expect from an Aziz Ansari stand-up hour, his comedy is basically a dirtier Tommy Haverford.

I can't link his whole performance, but HERE is Aziz performing some of the material on Conan.

Goldline

"Do you like apples?"
"Yea. Why?"
"I just bought my gold from Certified Gold Exchange instead of Goldline, how do you like them apples?
-Fin

Actor Scott Winters, for Goldline

My Chemical Romance

Seen here is the band My Chemical Romance wearing their blackened take on Sgt.Pepper's to advertise their 2006 album The Black Parade.

While I suspect the band's neo-gothic style works against them most of the time, they've been making some fantastic music, most notably Parade. Remember also their cover of Desolation Row. Plus they made this song, "Mama," which features the vocal stylings of one Liza Minnelli (just one line at 3:27, but still).

	My Chemical Romance - Mama
	Found at skreemr.com

Check out The Black Parade.

Tony Luke Jr.

Most Philadelphians know Tony Luke Jr as the proprietor of one of the city's most well liked cheesesteak shops. What they may not know is that ever since he found success as a business owner he's been searching for a sweet piece of side success with his first love: acting. Up next for Luke? A starring role along side Tony Danza and William Forsythe in The Nail: The Story of Joey Nardone. From imdb:

After high school, while performing in local theater, Tony's interests swayed more and more toward music. Tony began to get more involved in the writing and singing of music in the 80s. He wrote songs for Brandi Wells and Motown artist AC Black. He also wrote and performed songs in his own groups such as "Off The Streets", "AJ Spats", and "Too Cool Project". In 1992 he opened up a sandwich shop in South Philadelphia, with his father, Tony, and his brother, Nicholas, called Tony Luke's. While doing local commercials for his store, Tony was once again bitten by the acting bug. In 1997 Tony decided to pursue his acting career again.

So, there's that. You may also remember him as "Guy with Cape at tryouts" from 2006's Invincible.

Check out this impressive acting resume'.

Bob Ross

The Joy of Painting was a show on PBS that ran between 1983 and 1994. In it be-afro'd painter and former US Air Force medical records technician Bob Ross taught regular Joe's like you and me how to paint "happy trees" and other magnificent American landscapes. For some reason my mother's parents would play this show on a constant rotation whenever they babysat me, and Bob's soothing voice never failed to put me to sleep. On second thought, maybe that was the reason. It wasn't that his paintings were shit. Maybe they were, maybe they weren't. It was just that I could care less about painting and much more about finding ways to fall alseep. In the time since Ross's death in 1995 I've sometimes wondered whether tapes of his show existed. I figured I could use them for those awful sleepless nights where you look for the most boring show you can find just to help you sleep.

Well, it turns out Bob Ross, Inc. is way ahead of me, selling all kinds of Bob Ross instructional media. They even sell the entire "Bob Ross library" in one convenient box set for the low low price of
That's right. For just $1,376.50, you too can own the Bob Ross DVD Legacy. I wonder how many of those have ever been sold. I'm going with zero. Individual 1 Hour episodes cost $16.95 each, which seems much like much more than I'd ever need.

Rest in peace, happy little painter.

Poker Face

Hey, is that Christopher Walken "performing" Lady Gaga's "Poker Face" the way that only he can? I believe it is.

Yoko Oh No!

Good news! Looks like Sum 41 frontman Deryck Whibley and pop singer Avril Lavigne are on the outs.

For me, Sum 41 was never just another Green Day clone from Canada. They were different if only for two reasons: their angry, sarcastic lyrics, and their lead guitarist Dave "Brownsound" Baksh, whose heavy metal inspired guitar sound made the band stand out amongst its peers. Then Deryck married Avril, Brownsound left the band, and Sum 41 was left a power trio who wrote 2007's Underclass Hero, the band's (Deryck's) attempt at a conscientious record. The album failed miserably. It tried to be Green Day's American Idiot, only it wasn't smart enough and it needed a little metal influence.

I'm not sure how accurate these rumors of a split are, and I doubt Dave would rejoin the band with Avril out of the way, but it has been rumored that the other members refer to her as Yoko Oh No, so I'm sure it can only help. I'm at least looking forward to hearing what kind of lyrical content might be produced as a result of this pseudo-celebrity divorce.

"That Guy"

I don't routinely check to see if random motor oil retailers include audio clips of their radio commercials on their websites, but I made an exception today.

I really like STP's new radio ads "starring" Owen Wilson as himself explaining how he's become "that guy" who doesn't know anything about his own car or how to maintain it.

Check them out HERE if you don't normally listen to terrestrial radio.

Michael Jackson

I've just been informed that Michael Jackson died over a week ago. In honor of his brilliant career, here's a video of my favorite MJ moment.

And if you liked that, here's another one.

Angels & Airwaves

Last Blink-themed post. I started with a thesis and now I'm just chronicling the lives of Mark Hoppus and Tom DeLonge for my own benefit. The latter of those two men seemed to go off the deep end after after Blink 182's original demise. He got a lot weirder, and I think that album cover explains it all. Keep in mind that album artwork is not supposed to be ironic or juvenile. His new band, Angels & Airwaves, has a website that actually requests that you pay for their content such as films and artwork, as if fans cared about anything other than the music. In other words, Tom's new work has been largely pretentious. In fact, when "AVA" debuted, Tom went on a PR blitz claiming his new band was revolutionary. Turns out Tom's idea of "groundbreaking" and "new" just includes some extra irrelevant tracks of noise and guitars with a delay effect. So ironically, groundbreaking to Tom just meant making his band sound like U2. I'm not sure whether or not they've sold well, but combine the current economy with the fact that Tom has lent his name to various business ventures like Macbeth shoes and Atticus clothing (while mark sold his stake in those same ventures) and I think Tom probably has the most to gain by reuniting the old Blink 182 name. As bad as they are, you've likely heard an Angels & Airwaves song, as one song, The Adventure, has been a lot of commercials in the past year. (Ford commercials I think):

	Angels And Airwaves - 05 The Adventure
	Found at skreemr.com

+44

When Your Heart Stops Beating +44 formed in the wake of Blink 182's "hiatus." This new band featured Mark Hoppus and Travis yet again on drums (he was in Boxcar Racer, too). Of the various Blink 182 offspring and side projects, +44 ended up sounding most like its predecessor. They also represent the only project to realize that moving on from their past work didn't mean they had to forget about it completely. Said Corey Apar of allmusic.com:

On their debut, When Your Heart Stops Beating, +44 has managed to balance out upbeat rockers and somber introspections to create a record that is thoughtful and composed, yet fun, and almost like the album blink could have made had they stuck together.

There are some electro-pop elements and softer songs here that prove Mark Hoppus' worth as a pop song writer, and validating in the process his newfound success as a producer for such bands as The Matches, Motion City Soundtrack, Socratic, and New Found Glory.
Here's a song from the album which actually attacks Tom, who at the time had finally formed his new band, our next subject, Angels & Airwaves:

	(+44) - No It Isn't
	Found at skreemr.com

Blink 182 - The Middle Passage (Cont'd)

Take Off Your Pants and Jacket...in which Blink 182 finds the perfect blend of maturity and the humor that brought their style to the forefront of the Warped Tour generation. It's really sort of summed up by the album artwork. There's overt sophomoric humor in an otherwise more mature graphic, and Blink was one of the first bands of their era to use the more green-friendly recycled cardboard packaging with this album, so maybe that meant something too. There was really only one ridiculously immature song on this album called "Happy Holidays, You Bastard," but it was only :42 in length. Much of the rest was that blend of maturity and their tried and true pop punk formula. For example, here's a song called "Stay Together for the Kids" that isn't meant to be funny at all:

	Blink 182 - Stay Together for the Kids
	Found at skreemr.com

They also get a bit political (by their standards, anyway) on "Anthem Pt.II":

	Blink-182 - Anthem, Pt. 2
	Found at skreemr.com

And then they just get vulgar and angry, which was different for them at the time.

	Blink 182 - Shut Up
	Found at skreemr.com

Blink 182

The kids are all keyed up because Blink 182 reunited at the Grammy's, announcing they'd be recording new music and touring again. I'm glad they're friends again and I'll support their new stuff because I'm programmed to, but this reunion is about one thing: the money. "Oh really," you'll say, sarcastically. I know, i know, I'm probably not taking a rare stance. But what I do have that you won't find on any message board is a thesis, which I intend to prove in a series of posts. And don't kid yourself, Blink 182 stands to make Green Day type money with their reunion tour, an amount that will be more than their current projects (+44, AvA, and whatever Travis does) combined.

Blink 182 supposedly broke up because of strained relationships between band members, but they ultimately needed to be broken up because they couldn't successfully mesh their independently evolved musical tastes. Maybe that was the reason for the strained relationship, and now that those relationships have been mended (thanks to Travis' near-death experience) people think reuniting will bring back the old Blink. It wouldn't be a mistake if it were a genuine attempt to bring back the music that made them famous, but I don't think it is. It's just a money play in a tough economy. And I'll buy front row seats to the concert, and I hope I'm wrong.

I Don't Get It

Jeff Dunham I thought the ventriliquism medium was dead, but every time I turn on Comedy Central I see this guy with his puppets doing another 1-hour special. They've even replayed his Christmas Special more than a month after Christmas! His routine is very hack-ish, and his "characters" do nothing more than reinforce stereotypes. More importantly, he's not funny AND he's a ventriloquist.

Then again I own 3 seasons of Sifl & Olly on dvd and have been to a Dane Cook concert, so what do I know?

Iggy & Pete

If wikipedia is to be believed, Iggy Pop's long career didn't really become lucrative until 1983 when his long time friend David Bowie recorded a cover of his song "China Girl." As co-writer of the song Iggy received enough royalty money to clean up his heroin addiction, get married, and, among other things, take acting classes. As of 2009 he's appeared in a few films and has done some notable voice acting work, none of which I can remember. But in 1994 he began what I think is his most notable acting work--as James Mecklenberg, father of Nona Mecklenberg-- in the Adventures of Pete & Pete. A scene which should act as proof of this can be seen HERE, in which Iggy calls someone a Stooge--something which would have been way over my head as a 9 year old. But that just goes to prove that Pete & Pete was a show for kids that parents could enjoy.

In fact, for a Nickelodeon show, Pete & Pete sure had a lot of obscure cameos. Here's a list:

Patty Hearst / David Johansen (New York Dolls) / Ann Magnuson / Martin Donovan / Suzzy Roche (The Roches) / Sarah Shannon (Velocity Girl) / Chris Elliott / Bebe Neuwirth / Syd Straw / Steve Buscemi / Gordon Gano (Violent Femmes)/ Janeane Garofalo / Debbie Harry / Heather Matarazzo / Kate Pierson (the B52s) / Marshall Crenshaw/ Juliana Hatfield / Luscious Jackson/ Hunter Thompson /Michael Stipe

And here's one giant clip which includes proof of most of those. Are you really surprised that Steve Buscemi did a cameo in something?

Iggy Interviewed (1977)

In 1977 Iggy and his band were not allowed to play live on Peter Gzowski's (like a Canadian Letterman) television show due to "union concerns." Iggy made the appearance in interview form anyway. Iggy doesn't take kindly to the term "punk rock" right from the start and his response sets the tone for the rest of the interview. I was going to post the cliff's notes version of his appearance, but it's best viewed in its entirety. VIEW IT HERE.

Iggy Pop Day

A moment to reflect on my new favorite Iggy Pop moment.
Dan Kennedy's Rock On includes a chapter in which Dan, in search of personal salvation, attends an Iggy Pop & The Stooges concert at the Roseland Ballroom. It was an MTV2 promotion for a new version of Headbanger's Ball, made even worse by the opening acoustic set by a trashy pop-metal band called Godsmack. All of this was very un-Iggy like, but when it came time for his set Iggy didn't disappoint (he rarely does, from what I hear), thrashing about and stage diving as normal (Iggy is said to have "invented the stage dive) while going completely insane, and ultimately getting himself into the MTV corporate VIP room to destroy everything. As told in the book:

The idle rich hispters and industry VIP crowd up there are shocked and wide-eyed with "Holy shit, the gargoyle flew up here! Hold on you your complimentary Skyy vodka and cranberry, you guys!" Iggy runs the length of the elevated former safe harbor of the privileged, turning over tables, heaving them up and over and grinning maniacally, explosions of sprayed and flun alcohol flagging his eastbound advance through them. Chairs are flying, tables are sailing over, he moves fast with almost casual fury in this ultimately harmless but overdue, inspired, urgent, and precision reonnaissance mission. And as quickly as he came, he is gone, and the well dressed and shocked stand amonst the debris looking at each other and down at their clothes covered in champagne or booze mixed with juice.

And this would have all taken place in late 2003 when he was aged 56 years, the punk that wouldn't grow up. But don't call him a punk, you'll soon find out why not.