Thursday, October 9, 2008

Re: The guy at lunch

Dipping your french fries in mayonnaise has to be just about the fattest thing you can do.

I know the market's in the can, but get ahold of your emotions man.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Demographics

It can be argued that an office is one of only a few institutions that brings together people of all ages, sexes, races, and religions and forces them to work side by side. This is especially true down here at the bottom rung, where I am, and becomes less and less true as you ascend the corporate ladder where, at the top, sit a few white, middle-aged men. So down here at the bottom--again, where I am--I feel a bit strange sometimes. At first I did some time in the new-hire pen alongside other fresh-outta-college people my own age and a smattering of older folks looking for a fresh start. We called these people collectively "mid-life crisis," and assumed that at least a few would be swallowed up by our youthful energy and expertise with modern technologies, googles, and e-mails. We were right.

Now that I've burst out of the pen of post-grad confusion and into the upper level of the bottom rung I am amongst a much more diverse collection of colleagues. On my team, for example, I am youngest by 6 years, which is not so bad, but everyone is married which is certainly not something I can relate to. At my cube I sit back to back with a 62 year old woman who likes to talk about her dogs and grandkids. Adjacent to us are several more associates who are much more tenured and who talk about their happy married lives, time off with the kids, or weekends with the nieces and nephews. I find irony every time my "cube buddy" asks what kind of music I'm listening to or how my weekend went while she knits a blanket for a new grandchild. I lie, of course, not wanting to risk any additional awkward questions. I opt for answers like "just some rock" or "nice quiet weekend...watched the game, saw my girlfriend." Old people eat up that kind of phony chit chat.

Worse is the cattyness I perceive from some of the women on the team. Even at their more advanced age they still gossip about office goings-on and admonish me when I "didn't say good morning." Sometimes they will--in this supposed "professional" setting--get upset with one another for not including one another in lunch invitations or signing up for certain extracurricular activities without consulting the others. This is normally the catalyst for a chain of events which usually concludes with unnecesary e-mails sent back and forth so as to signify "I'm not talking to you." It's all very much like high school.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Interviews

A few days after I wrote the post about breakfast, someone broke a few of my breakfast rules (all of them, actually, and yes, the Monday breakfast included a quiche). The event sent me into hiding yet again, for I felt I was being put on. I still have my suspicions about being found out, but alas we forge ahead.

I wrote some time earlier about interviewing for a new position. Well, I got that position and so now I write from a roomier cube along a corner of the building which makes me feel like I have an office with a view. I find interviewing far less nerve-racking than some of my peers. I attribute this to being young (I'm 23). At this very early point in my career I don't feel any pressure to move up any corporate ladders. They either want me or they don't, but I refuse to be hired based on the premise that I'm something that I'm not. So interviews always offer the opportunity for me to see the interviewer's expression when I assert my opinions with fierce, unwavering, brutal honesty. I interject some humor here and there, flash a smile when necessary, and try to look as good as possible, and so far the result has always been positive. It all works because I'm very cold. To me it's just an anonymous corporate job, the kind that a department can probably find ways to swallow up and accomplish with one less employee should costs need to be cut. So why sweat a promotion like that? And yet I know of several people who sweat these types of situations. So, I say this as advice: unless the job you're interviewing for is what you've always dreamed of or represents a pay increase of 5K or more, just be yourself.